An Open Letter for the End of Winter
I hear the girlies are going through it
Hello, lovely readers, and WELCOME if you’re new here!
Thank you for joining me on my little newsletter journey. This month’s entry is pretty informal, but please stay tuned for more think pieces, personal essays, cinema analysis, and updates about my writing appearing on other websites…. 👀
February has been an action-packed month on the writing front. Two weeks ago, I participated in my first-ever reading series!!! A huge thank you to Must Love Memoir for inviting me and making it such a wonderful experience.
Receiving validation for my writing was incredibly rewarding and performing it in public left me on a such a high. I was so excited about the writerly things going on in my life, that there was no time left to feel any way about being single on Valentine’s Day. This was not the case last year when I spent the 14th in a dive bar recounting all the mistakes I’ve ever made in romantic relationships.
February is short, but it’s a bitch of a month.
In addition to the heart-shaped holiday, the weather’s lousy, radiators are inconsistent, and post-snow slush ruins cute shoes. It can be sunny, but never for long enough. Hopes for New Year’s resolutions are beginning to fade. It’s a dreary time of year when the cruel voices in our heads tend to get a little louder. I’ve spent a few Februarys buying myself beautiful flowers but still feeling down and out.1 Since I’ve seen many of my friends and loved ones in that place lately, I thought I’d offer a small pick-me-up.
My mom and I developed a habit of sending note cards without a special occasion when I moved away for college. Receiving an unexpected card never fails to make me smile, even on my worst days. There’s nothing better than a physical letter or postcard in your mailbox, but I hope you’ll settle for my best digital effort:
My dearest reader,
I hope you’re doing okay.
It’s still winter. The clothes and emotions are heavy.
Recently, I’ve had a lot of conversations about feeling stuck in a funk. I’m sure we all have our reasons, both big and small. Maybe you’re single and wish you weren’t. Maybe late nights at the office are a drag. Maybe you’re discouraged by an unsuccessful job search. Maybe there’s someone special you miss.
This time of year is always difficult. We see less of the sun than we’d like and we’re tired of being cold. The high of the holidays is over, but the winter drags on like a broken bumper, screeching against the pavement as we slowly cruise toward Spring Street.
A friend recently confided in me that she needs some time to be sad. She thinks she spent too much of the past six months burying her emotions and ignoring the loss she experienced in her life. I suggested there was still time for a “sad girl winter.” Without much happening outside, it’s the perfect moment to sit in your feelings. Wrap yourself in a blanket and pour a cup of tea. Let go of whatever social obligations you’re dreading and feel reassured there are no beach days, picnics, or leisurely walks in the park to miss out on.
Take comfort in the fact that whatever you’re facing has likely been faced before. There hasn’t been an original novel since Don Quixote, so there probably hasn’t been an original problem in that time either. It doesn’t mean your issues are small or your feelings trivial. It only means you’re not alone in whatever you’re facing.
If you’re sad about time passing you by, try to remember how far you’ve come. If you feel like you’re floundering try to remember there’s still time to regain your balance. Yes, time is passing, but none of it is wasted. The fact that you’re here, reading these words means you’re surviving, and that is a victory in itself.
As a master of language, Victor Hugo, once said…
"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace."
I know I’m not saying anything new here. This letter is just a proverbial “Hang In There” kitten poster, but there’s genuine sentiment in the clichés I’m entertaining. I bring you these words from the bottom of my sappy, Hallmark-soaked heart. Picture me shouting at you, from one end of the void to the other, “YOU ARE SEEN. YOU ARE APPRECIATED.”
And know that you are.
I flew to California last weekend and found “Sunny San Diego” shrouded in fog. I walked through my grandmother’s house, picking out which items I wanted now that she’s passed. It was strange being in her home without her presence. For all the meaning I assign to material things, it was immediately clear to me she just wasn’t there anymore.
After saying goodbye to the Crayola green shag carpet and the cuckoo clocks that used to sing on the hour, I took my haul back to the hotel. It included a fancy cake stand, vintage soup spoons, homemade Santa coasters, a copy of Dante’s Inferno, and Cabaret on DVD. Most of the items were just things I wanted - not too different from what I’d take home from a Sunday morning trip to Housing Works. One of the few pieces that holds sentiment is a small acrylic painting of a snow-covered tree.
The painting is one of a four-part series my grandmother made depicting a tree in the backyard of her Staten Island home. She painted one for each of the four seasons and kept them in her kitchen where we used to play word games from the back of the local newspaper. Staring at her winter tree, which is currently propped up on the mantle in my bedroom, I’ve felt struck by how beautiful winter can be. The way her brushstrokes dust the tree in snow. The way you can sense the stillness that comes with a bare, frozen landscape.
When I woke up on the morning of my flight to San Diego, snow was falling outside my window. I groaned. It was 5:15 am, and I had a long trip to JFK ahead of me. It also snowed the morning of my essay reading, and I was in a state of panic that the event would be canceled. With all the recent inconveniences, I forgot how beautiful snow is. How much I missed it while living on the West Coast.
I forgot the reason I fell in love with the winter tree painting, years ago when my grandmother still sat at the kitchen table below it. I preferred it over spring, summer, and fall because I’ve always thought of winter as my favorite season. No matter how tedious it becomes in the final weeks.
Winter is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and exhausting. It’s too much, as the best things often can be. As we anxiously wait for the day we can stuff our winter coats in a drawer, remember, whether you like it or not, this time is a necessary evil. Without it, there would be no sigh of relief in spring. No fabulous faux fur coats, cozy scarves, or colorful ski suits.2 No waking up to picturesque snow-covered streets outside your window. No feeling of warmth around the holidays in contrast to the cold outside. No time for hibernation.
If you’ve been struggling lately, be it cause you’re cold, tired, lonely, wiped out, or lost, I won’t tell you there’s a silver lining. I’ll only offer the eternal wisdom, “This too, shall pass.” Everything always does!
Until then, try to make the most of the season. Stay in. Make another cup of tea. Find ways to take care of yourself. Call a friend. Write someone a note. Or just get up, do what you must, and go back to bed, taking pride in the fact that you’ve made it through another day. That victory is yours.
Humans are perennial plants, and spring is almost here!
much love,
Sophia
Quotes for This Era:
"I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life. I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain. These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world." - Dolly Parton
“I have work, then a dinner thing, and then I am busy. Trying to become who I am.” - Hannah Horvath
“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” - Stephen King
“Wherever Fate may lead us, whether on or backward, let us follow. Whatsoever occurs, all fortune must be overcome by endurance.” - Virgil3
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt4
Mirror Selfie of This Era:
Recommendations for This Era
Letter writing
Sophie Lucido Johnson, who I’ve followed since I joined Substack, starts every newsletter with “A Note for You, If You’re Having A Bad Day.” Her newsletter You Are Doing A Good Enough Job is a lovely pick me up.
Ginger Candy
J. Lo’s new album, This Is Me… Now album5
Pre-planning your week
Past Lives
Chocolate flavored tea
The Bachelor Season 28 - I’m so serious. This season is good, you guys!
Paint by numbers
Warm Sweaters
I don’t ski, but maybe you do!
Bringing it back to my AP Latin roots!
Eleanor has a lot of inspirational quotes if you’re looking for more to draw on!
It was fun!
Really wish I could've been at the reading, what a special moment <3 also your grandma's mural is amazing!