silly and literary
Personifying bookstores for both of our amusement
Hello, devoted newsletter readers!
We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we?
In this newsletter, I’ve tackled romance, graduation, a euro trip, self-doubt, writer’s block, a motorcycle accident, new jobs, leaving LA, arriving in New York, and the enduring importance of Marilyn Monroe’s filmography.
This week I had hoped to finish a long-planned entry about life from my breast’s perspective,1 but unfortunately, my writing remains underdeveloped.2
Although I’m enjoying the stability of a full-time job, my schedule has shifted. There’s less room for unexpected events, quiet reflection, and newsletter writing. Lately, I feel like I’m spending a lot more time on the move. Always (metaphorically and physically) racing between subway transfers.
My deadline rolled around for this week’s newsletter and I realized I hadn’t prepared much at all. There isn’t much to tell! I thought about waiting until after Halloween, but that’s a whole weekend of parties away. Who knows where any of us will be by then or how long it will take to digest and shape those experiences into solid writing?
So, like many talented writers before me, I’ve decided to make some stuff up.
I present to you…
The Personalities of New York Bookstores
The Strand
Whether you’re a tourist, an NYU student who hasn’t traveled north of 16th street, a Williamsburg resident of two years who gets the city better than you, or a lifelong New Yorker about to be suffocated by the books falling off their wall to ceiling shelves, there is something for you at The Strand.
She can be everything to everyone. She’s a little bit of a corny millennial with “she persisted” stickers and Frida Khalo socks, but she also delivers the banned books, classics, dollar items, and new releases you’re looking for every single time. She’s the approachable, undefeated high school class president of bookstores and always carries a tote bag. Everyone likes her even if no one is super close with her because she’s too packed with people to sit in for hours at a time.
We were best friends in high school and still stay in touch.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: The Good Left Undone by Adriana Trigiani, Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, a portable booklight, a sticker, a Christmas gift, and a bunch of colorful pens.
The Last Time I Visited: A month or two ago.
McNally Jackson
This bookstore is better than you.
It majored in literature in college and wrote its thesis on bell hooks. It’s read every Joan Didion essay and every essay about Joan Didion. It knew about Eve Babitz and Sally Rooney before it was cool to know. In fact, this bookstore doesn’t read Sally Rooney anymore because she’s too mainstream. It’s reading the NEXT Sally Rooney and telling you about how you should be too in the little staff-recommended blurbs on their “best sellers” shelves.3
McNally Jackson loves to show what’s on trend and ahead of the trend, but their best quality is their commitment to New York literature. They’ve carved out a nice corner for fellow New Yorkers who are featured whether they hit the best sellers list or not. You get the sense that McNally struggled when they first moved to New York as a wide-eyed ingénue in their early twenties. Deep down they have a soft spot for all the bright-eyed country mice who are looking to find themselves in the big city. Even though they’re better than you now, they once were you, and they have pity.
They’re also the only place to always stock Nora Ephron.
McNally is the friend of a friend I enjoy sitting next to at dinner parties, even though I think they’re kind of full of themselves.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: Crazy Salad & Scribble Scribble by Nora Ephron and Happy Hour by Marlowe Granados
The Last Time I Visited: I went in this week to get out of the pouring rain before meeting a friend at Thai Diner. It was the perfect way to kill time, and I didn’t have the willpower to leave empty-handed.
Three Lives Company
I’ve never met Three Lives Company in person, so I can only judge by their monthly newsletter.
This bookstore is intentionally mysterious. He recounts paragraphs and paragraphs worth of information on the obscure book he just started, but it’ll be six years before you learn his address or if he has any siblings. Unlike McNally, his out-of-the-way recommendations don’t seem intentionally exclusive. He’s just that well-read. But the titles are always out of stock or “unavailable in the US.”
Keeping up with him is exhausting.
Three Lives is the guy I meet at a party and spend all night talking to on a walk around the city… only for him to never call.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin (I had it delivered in 2020 during covid).
The Last Time I Visited: Never, but I swear keep meaning to!
Barnes and Noble (Union Square Location)
This is apparently the largest Barnes and Noble4 in New York and it would definitely works in finance. With four floors, it has all the miles of books of The Strand without the coziness and stickers. Its personality and sense of whimsy are a little lacking, but this bookstore is dependable. It will have exactly what you need with multiple copies of everything. It also offers you space to browse alone when you need it. The bookstore is protective and a nice oasis if you’re having a bad day.
This bookstore is the roommate I liked but never became close with. Or the partner I imagine myself having in my mid-twenties who I’d get really into making Hello Fresh meals with.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: Impossible to remember.
The Last Time I Visited: Can’t say with any certainty, but I love to wander around this one at Christmastime.
Barnes and Noble (Upper West Side Location)
Although you would think this bookstore would give the same vibes as its older brother, to me it’s the most family-friendly. It’s also more laidback.
There’s a sprawling children’s section on the top floor and a mezzanine devoted to young adult literature. I may no longer be a teen, but I still can’t resist a bit of off-brand architecture. The matching adult and child Harry’s Shoes next door offer the perfect parent and child outing. You can finish off an exciting day of picking out shoes for the new school year by going to look at books together and a fond memory for years to come.5 I see this one as a teacher who lobbied for New York to legalize weed.
This bookstore is one of my parent’s friends who I call aunt or uncle.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
The Last Time I Visited: Back in January when I went specifically to buy The Lost Hero. I read it in March, and then immediately had to order the rest of the series off eBay.
The Book Cellar
This bookstore is the over-the-top, eccentric next-door neighbor who you grow to adore even more with age.
She’s either a born and raised New Yorker or will never tell you where she moved from over forty years ago. She always has her hair done and some kind of sequin, fur, or crepe outfit on. With a kitten heel. She’ll tell you she’s an actress, but her real career is having a crazy story about every famous person you can imagine. She turned down a dance with Robert Redford. She grew up across the street from Joe Biden. She has a Broadway cabaret named after her even though she doesn’t sing or dance.
She’s warm, sometimes disorganized, and lives on the Upper East Side all the way east, meaning you always end up taking cabs when you visit her. She’s a little crazy and can be exhausting, but ultimately you feel lucky just to know her. She’s one of a kind.
This bookstore is my old next-door neighbor and a few other iconic New York characters I’ve been lucky enough to meet.
The Last Thing(s) I Bought There: The Office of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans, Writers and Lovers by Lily King, Geek Love by Katherine Dunn, and The Mysteries of Pittsburg by Michael Chabon
The Last Time I Visited: Saturday.
Book of the Month (The Out of Towner)
Book of the Month is not a New York bookstore, but their headquarters are here so why not give them a write-up?
Book of the Month is your grandmother who lives in another state but loves to send you stuff in the mail. She has the philosophy “more is better” in the sense that you get five - no seven! - books to choose from each month and each of their editions is a massive hardcover. .
She may send you too many books or emails at times, but she’s always super thoughtful, adding little bookmarks and curating the selection to include one of every genre. Even when her choices aren’t a perfect fit, it’s nice to be thought of and have a little surprise at your doorstep.
This bookstore is my grandmother.6
The Last Thing(s) I Bought From Them: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, Love and Other Disasters by Anita Kelly, and Small Angels by Lauren Owen7
Online Reading Recommendations for This Era:
“The Democrats Midterm Challenge” by Nicholas Lemann
This is a great New Yorker read that is worth taking 45 minutes off your life. I think it’s easy to become immersed in politics for a period of time and take a step back thinking you know everything you need to. Or maybe that’s just a ridiculously arrogant assumption I’ve made. Either way, I think it’s valuable to take a look at the current political climate with fresh eyes. Even if The West Wing reruns are the closest I ever get to the White House, I want to understand what’s going on.
“Top 5 Rat Movies I Made Up” by John Paul Brammer
This is the kind of funny off brand substack that inspired the one you just read. ¡Hola Papi! is a brilliant advice column that started years ago on grindr. The rat movies are hilarious, and the column is great for good advice and feeling you’re not alone.
“Brain Surgery” by Sophie Lucido Johnson
I don’t often send out substacks to my friends and family, but I literally forwarded the email on this one. The newsletter “You’re Doing a Good Enough Job” is all about validtaing how you’re feeling, but I think this one about the mysteries of discomfort manifesting in our brains and body was exactly what I needed this week.
“Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs” by Aiden Arata
I discovered Aiden Arata’s writing through her hilarious Instagram guided meditations (which deserve a recommendation in their own right), but I foudn this latest piece about practicing with pepper spray at the mall particularly brilliant. I’d be seething with jealousy that I didn’t write it if it wasn’t such an unflattering look.
Vulture’s Bachelor in Paradise Recaps by Ali Barthwell
I doubt any of you will take me up on this, but Ali Barthwell’s recaps of this ridiculous reality television program are the highlight of my week. These make me laugh out loud. Even though this woman has won Emmys, I’ll always love her for these recaps most.
See you in two weeks for more semi-regularly scheduled programming!
Seriously. I will be writing this.
I have so many more puns stuffed in my bra, just you wait!
The next Sally Rooney is apparently Marlowe Granados, and I adore her book so far.
To me, a Barnes and Noble will always be thought of and pronounced as plural. I can’t explain it, but it’s true.
May or may not be speaking from personal experience.
Grammy, I love you!
They sent me this one by accident, but points to them for letting me keep it!
I love Three Lives & Co and still have to admit you absolutely nailed it. Every time I walk in there, I find out that (even as a lifelong book-person) I don't know ANY of these names and somehow they're all fantastic and un-put-downable. I always talk nervously to the person at the counter (and then analyze whatever I've said for the next half hour, hoping I didn't sound like an idiot)
Also, Bonnie Slotnick's Cookbooks is the sweet cuddly aunt you always wanted, who bakes you muffins and tells you stories from her glorious culinary vacations...